Not Alone

Photo by Kate Tandy on Unsplash

Sweet flower,

Why did you float away-

On crystal blue waters,

Where you sat and slowly swayed,

Below the dock, I perched and my toes dipped lightly

Forming a ripple, just one, then two, and three,

Circles that widened over crystal blue waters.

Perhaps, sweet flower, you’re going somewhere,

A journey, a mission, a path to follow-

And though my eyes grow moist and my lips may quiver,

I will not grow weak from the time we shared,

But your memories will spark when I need them the most.

And time is a sea monster, but never will I faulter

Because, sweet flower, I carry you with me,

But until I go and leave from this dock,

My clouded eyes will sit here and watch

As the golden sky sinks low unto the place where its from,

An orange hew bounces off the blue waters,

And you float away, towards the sun.

-N.B.

Forget

We must forget the bitter past.

Shaking in the wind

Wilting in the fire,

Ablaze, cuts sharp, fringed at the edges.

Jaded flower, rootless stem,

Hold you ground,

Hear the sound,

Of nothing but the splash-

Of cold water on scorched skin.

….

We must forget the bitter past.

Thirsty soil seeks the rain,

Blind petals pray for light.

Heavy clouds lay down your grief,

And thunder down the rain’s relief.

-N.B.

Insecurity

 

timothy-eberly-2MSMhiycQuY-unsplashPhoto by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

 

The sword was already there,

Of this, I made sure.

Primed and ready for the taking,

the stabbing,

the pain,

the end.

I am a cocooned butterfly,

And I will emerge once again.

…..

Not today, I tell her.

Today you can not have me.

Today you can not ravage me,

Like a glutton for my bones –

I shall deny you in hushed tones -no

– a single whispered line,

“Leave me be, insecurity.

Today you will not have me.

Today I am mine.”

-N.B.

 

Nevermore

Ensconce me in your warmth,

And wrap my skin in sweet joy.

Bite deep, like a leech-

Sucking away until every last drop-

Of loneliness excretes- from this desperate soul,

Before I sink too low.

Days of isolation sting sharp,

Like a fresh cut.

Raw, oozing blood,

Pooling at the seams of these poorly sewn stitches.

For which I am to blame-

For I am the seamstress,

Sewing tight my own demise.

And I am the surgeon-

Cutting out my hollowed eyes.

For they have done me a disservice,

And I no longer see the light.

Nevermore have I needed hope.

Nevermore have I needed sight.

-N.B.

Photo by: Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

If Reason Could

If Reason Could
If for no one else, for me.
I cannot continue living in this half baked hell,
This space-time continuum,
This worm hole of doubt.
I need out-
Of this ever receding hope,
Frustrating confusion.
I’m like a cream puff
Stuffed-
With anger,
As fake laughter trickles up your throat of lies.
Who am I,
But a product of disaster,
A child of the chaos-
That kicks and screams in your mind.
Only respite is to run,
Exit stage left of this show.
No encore, please, I’m tired.
Your point is said, not made.
Paranoia strikes again,
The chaos has won you over.
If only reason fell like rain,
For the soil beneath to absorb,
For seeds of peace to sprout anew.
Then this sickness could excrete from your mind,
And we could rejoice with what’s left of our time.
-N.B.

When Small Men Fall

Small men will fall,

short of their expectations.

Their onset of pride,

brewing, like the storm in their eyes.

Lies they will spout,

out of spiteful, little mouths.

Small men will break,

under the pressure they seek.

When their greed is uncovered,

smothered in apathetic promises,

concocted with spiteful little minds.

 

Small men will fade,

like the shadows in the night,

like thunder come sunlight.

No light-

-ning shall transpire-

here, where smoke filled mouths will never tire.

 

Small men, you will fall

like autumn leaves when November breaks.

Lest you let your pride be what winter takes,

And shake the dust off long closed eyes.

For a wiseman, reborn in Spring,

Will watch in awe,

As women rise.

-N.B.

 

 

Outside

Outside I am:

Watching as they smile,

Listening as they laugh,

Sitting as they dance.

Looking away when they look back,

Glass walls holds me hostage.

But inside, I:

Press my face up to the view,

Of the people I once knew,

All reasons aside,

Let history slide,

Away from this room,

Away from this crowd,

Of blood like mine.

Wishing I was someone else,

Someone forgiven,

Someone brave,

Someone, unafraid,

Of wearing the dress,

Despite your brothers unsolicited shame.

Of dancing a mess,

Despite your body unwilling to be anything but tame.

For love of fun,

For connections and bonds,

For a string of familiarity I could never knit,

For a friendship spark from a candle never lit.

I sit here wishing, hoping, dreaming,

Of a life where I was in,

With those whom I love.

Of a life where I was one

With the laughter around me.

But instead I am me,

Solo girl on this whirlwind ride.

Face pressed against the glass,

Looking in, from the outside.

-N.B.