Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash
What hurts the most
Is not the unanswered questions,
It is not the circle I refuse to walk; round and round.
It is the sound of your voice,
When you said that I gave up hope.
It is the click of the phone,
When my words no longer served you.
It is the fear that lingers,
Knowing you will never follow me;
And you will never be free.
Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash
The sword was already there,
Of this, I made sure.
Primed and ready for the taking,
I am a cocooned butterfly,
And I will emerge once again.
Not today, I tell her.
Today you can not have me.
Today you can not ravage me,
Like a glutton for my bones –
I shall deny you in hushed tones -no
– a single whispered line,
“Leave me be, insecurity.
Today you will not have me.
Today I am mine.”
Peace sweeps through the alter,
On one stormy eve.
But, pray tell, what reprieve –
Could bless such scorched earth, that I do walk?
As I do sing, the winds to sleep.
Once I failed,
Twice I caved.
And now, what new sins doth do creep?
Quieten my jaded voice,
And drench my skin in salty fears.
For now, I see no path for which I am meant to walk.
For now, I see no action, for which I am meant to fake.
Only for now, I say I am done.
A small reprieve, for this liar’s sake.
(featured image taken on a clear day before the storm)
If Reason Could
If for no one else, for me.
I cannot continue living in this half baked hell,
This space-time continuum,
This worm hole of doubt.
I need out-
Of this ever receding hope,
I’m like a cream puff
As fake laughter trickles up your throat of lies.
Who am I,
But a product of disaster,
A child of the chaos-
That kicks and screams in your mind.
Only respite is to run,
Exit stage left of this show.
No encore, please, I’m tired.
Your point is said, not made.
Paranoia strikes again,
The chaos has won you over.
If only reason fell like rain,
For the soil beneath to absorb,
For seeds of peace to sprout anew.
Then this sickness could excrete from your mind,
And we could rejoice with what’s left of our time.