Criticism strikes like a knife to my soul,
Disguised as a joke,
But the pain stings sincere.
Was the right thing to spin the wheels of my rusty mind faster?
Was the right thing to never ask at all?
I am unaware of how I got here.
I am unsure of how my story ends,
All I know is this static condition,
And it was I who set the tone.
Like a dog for approval’s bone.
I just wanted to do the right thing,
Let me try, Oh no, how dare I,
If I asked, shame on me,
I should’ve known.
The truth cuts deep,
When it stares you down in your reflection.
Accept your faults, and leave thoughts be.
But still I wonder,
What miraculous event will move my needle?
Its foundation stiff and stern.
A sea of mistakes, I’m always swimming,
But to drown, despicable me, I yearn.
No book or words could teach me,
My mind will never learn.
Come up for air,
Bad decisions, I breathe in.
One word, One trigger,
And my gun of sorrows lit.
Tragic clarity consumes my hope.
And then I know,
The right thing was never here.
The right thing required better.
Silly girl, too blind to see,
The right thing was not inside you.
The right thing was never me.