An Ode to Love

Tell me what it means to be happy,

Because in this moment,

I can not breathe.

As my heart’s song fills the deep valleys of my lungs,

no words escape my tongue,

But bleed purple ink on worn paper.

 

Tell me what it is to love,

The cracks between your fingers.

To know them like my own,

To mend these broken bones,

And convert my jaded tones.

To fill the wells of tears I shed,

And breathe in the sky with these wings, you spread.

 

Tell me how blind eyes see the desires of my soul?

Because the girl who dwells inside,

is awestruck by your light,

Murmuring sounds of pure delight.

Cheerful liquid fills my eyes,

Peering into yours, there are no lies.

Thou, who sees through my puzzled skin,

And paints strokes of beauty, deep within.

-N.B.

Fire

Time you are a fickle beast.

Life you are a short-

cake, too quickly swallowed.

Tick, tick, away of my tomorrows,

Long hand, short.

No sugar to sweeten my heart’s sorrows.

No seasons to mix,

As I struggle to warm this cool stove,

And leave barren leaves undressed,

Like this naked soul,

And hopeless dreams lacking zest.

 

But, who are you, who whisks breath into my flattened chest?

And stirs life into my hidden desires?

One flame was all I required.

One flame will suffice.

Until I light my own paths

And spark my own fire.

-N.B.

Broken

I do not expect you to understand.

Every time you bear witness to my tears, I feel ashamed.

You see, every time I go back, this wound tears apart, never healed,

A fresh cut, bright red, only stings.

I scurry to piece together my bandaged, broken wings.

This hole, I have yet to fill,

Will swallow me whole.

I am numb to the world around me,

Because up until now, I have not reckoned,

When my vulnerabilities beckoned,

For me to try, For me to heal.

Around me, I never wanted this to revolve.

With me, I only wanted to deal,

And resolve,

My broken heart.

And, no, I do not need your guilt.

This plight is blameless,

If my tears are shameless.

What I need is you to tell me, “It will all be okay,”

What I need is your promise that there is a better way.

-N.B.

Outside

Outside I am:

Watching as they smile,

Listening as they laugh,

Sitting as they dance.

Looking away when they look back,

Glass walls holds me hostage.

But inside, I:

Press my face up to the view,

Of the people I once knew,

All reasons aside,

Let history slide,

Away from this room,

Away from this crowd,

Of blood like mine.

Wishing I was someone else,

Someone forgiven,

Someone brave,

Someone, unafraid,

Of wearing the dress,

Despite your brothers unsolicited shame.

Of dancing a mess,

Despite your body unwilling to be anything but tame.

For love of fun,

For connections and bonds,

For a string of familiarity I could never knit,

For a friendship spark from a candle never lit.

I sit here wishing, hoping, dreaming,

Of a life where I was in,

With those whom I love.

Of a life where I was one

With the laughter around me.

But instead I am me,

Solo girl on this whirlwind ride.

Face pressed against the glass,

Looking in, from the outside.

-N.B.

A Poem A Day Keeps the Doctor Away

(The mental doctor that is)

The Squirrel & The Fox

“I suppose I should write. I should really write something down,” said the sad fox to the lonely squirrel.

“I find that it is best to write in times so grey,” the squirrel returned.

“I think myself a lion, at times of brave display”

“Me thinks you’re just a coward, who likes to laugh and play,”

“Or, perhaps, I am a bird, flying free beneath the clouds!”

“Or, perhaps, your head is dense and heavy, and your wings are made of shrouds.”

“Dear squirrel, dost thou mock me? With lines so dry and grey?”

“Dear sir, why I would never, your mind doth carry you away. Oh my friend, I know your plight and I shall aid you in this quest! I can rid you of your riddles, and form a key to all your locks.”

“Dear squirrel, pray, you help me! Can thou free me from this box?”

“My dear friend, hear me closely. Your fur is brown and short, your eyes are dark and wide, your paws are sharp with daggers. Dear sir, you are a fox.”

-N.B.