Outside I am:
Watching as they smile,
Listening as they laugh,
Sitting as they dance.
Looking away when they look back,
Glass walls holds me hostage.
But inside, I:
Press my face up to the view,
Of the people I once knew,
All reasons aside,
Let history slide,
Away from this room,
Away from this crowd,
Of blood like mine.
Wishing I was someone else,
Someone forgiven,
Someone brave,
Someone, unafraid,
Of wearing the dress,
Despite your brothers unsolicited shame.
Of dancing a mess,
Despite your body unwilling to be anything but tame.
For love of fun,
For connections and bonds,
For a string of familiarity I could never knit,
For a friendship spark from a candle never lit.
I sit here wishing, hoping, dreaming,
Of a life where I was in,
With those whom I love.
Of a life where I was one
With the laughter around me.
But instead I am me,
Solo girl on this whirlwind ride.
Face pressed against the glass,
Looking in, from the outside.
-N.B.
A total depiction of withdrawal into oneself when there is so much out there…Love it Nina.
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Thank you PePa! That means so much!
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Anytime Nina Bell.You are welcome!
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