Sitting here, I blankly stare
At the red sunflowers
Reflecting in the checkered
window’s frosty glare.
Rattling like a snake,
My mind slithers me back
To a time before I was crippled by judgement,
Reacting to every sound, every snap,
Assuming all corner’s lay mousetraps
And I, the hiding rat.
It was a time before my fingers froze,
My back stiffened and my vision blurred.
A time before I over explained,
Overdid and over endured.
A time before my answers to questions
Came out muddled and slurred.
So I blink twice
Unmoving, my body is heavy, my arms are slack,
But I manage to reel myself in
From a head of chaos and a soul of doubt.
“Who have I become,” I ask
To a window that does not talk back.
So I sit here and blankly stare,
At red sunflowers,
Chopped and lifeless, without a care.