My mistake was looking behind me,
My mistake was turning around.
My mistake was seeing an old picture.
Cruel memories brought my knees to the ground.
Had I not been so ignorant, would anything have changed?
If my hands had reached for yours sooner,
Would your conscious mind still be engaged?
Daddy, I am sorry, I know that I failed you.
I have no profound words to unfold.
My tongue has recoiled to my lung’s bottom,
Because I know where this illness will lead us,
And I want your real story to be told.
One day you will not remember me, the boys or even Mom.
You won’t remember the days when you drove me to school.
You won’t remember how you always answered my calls.
You won’t know how your love made us whole,
How your unconditional support made us steady,
Instead, you will be left with confusion.
Instead, you will pay a steep toll.
My mistake was not knowing how to fix you.
My mistake was ignoring the pendulum sway.
Daddy, I will do right and remember the man you once were,
Before the storm sweeps all of our memories away.